


I'm Yours (Bones' POV)

by Caera1996



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: M/M, sweetheart challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-15
Updated: 2014-02-15
Packaged: 2018-01-12 11:33:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1185751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caera1996/pseuds/Caera1996
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: “I’m Yours”: Sometimes, underneath that veneer of bravado, Jim just needs to be reminded that he's got someone who loves him no matter what. And maybe Leonard does, too. (Bones’ POV).</p><p>Summary: Leonard and Jim make some time to get away months after the events of “Into Darkness”, but the problems and insecurities follow them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Yours (Bones' POV)

To say that the whole situation was a clusterfuck to end all clusterfucks would’ve put it mildly. It would take years for Starfleet to recover from this debacle. This Khan/Marcus/Klingon/Section 31 (take your pick) debacle, and the Federation spinners were still spinning their heads off.  
  
Despite the carefully worded statements and explanations, it was impossible to just gloss over everything that had happened. Trust in Starfleet was practically nonexistent, the Federation - and Earth - was as vulnerable as ever, and predatory, exploitative races were constantly pushing…causing damage and being a dangerous nuisance to Federation ships – straining already strained resources even further.  
  
Damage to San Francisco had been catastrophic. Damage to the Enterprise irreparable.  
  
And so many more people were dead, when they’d already lost so many to Nero.  
  
But in the end, none of that was what really mattered to Leonard.  
  
Standing in the living room, arms crossed over his chest as he leaned against the door frame, Leonard watched and listened as who did matter to him – more than anything – shouldered the enormous pressure of everything that had happened. He answered – again and again – how he’d managed to accomplish the impossible, justified the decisions he’d made, cover for some others, and be interrogated about the role Marcus had played in everything.  
  
All of that while he was still recovering from…  
  
And find a way to deal with his own grief while continuing to be the embodiment and face of what Starfleet desperately needed to project itself as to everyone who doubted.  
  
Strong, steady, smart, confident, trustworthy.  
  
Unbreakable  
  
…even though they’d lost him.  
  
(And thank every celestial being that was ever worshiped that only four people had actually known for sure that Jim had…that they’d really lost him. He, Jim, Spock, Uhura, and Scotty managed to keep it between them…and that was the only reason he still had his medical license.)  
  
Shaking his head, Leonard banished the vision that still haunted him months later, and focused his gaze on the man sitting behind the desk, talking animatedly to whatever bureaucrats were on the other side of the screen. He watched as Jim stood, gesticulating as he talked, refusing to be spoken over. Staying respectful (barely) but not letting that respect stop him from saying what needed to be said.  
  
Leonard didn’t even know what this conference was about. He didn’t care. Jim Kirk was always in demand now – whether for the press, or the Federation, or Starfleet, and even his own crew…or what was left of them…as everyone cooled their heels planetside. Many of their crew members were still working through what had happened, and Jim made himself available to them.  
  
And Leonard understood.  
  
Just then, Jim looked up, and their eyes met. Jim nodded slightly, knowing that he was pushing it, and knowing that Leonard would not hesitate to remove the comm’s power source and throw it in the river. This time was supposed to be for them, but with things the way they were, he couldn’t just be out of contact, even for just a week. The comm system was a compromise, and one that Jim was careful to not take advantage of.  
  
They needed this time. He needed it. Bones needed it.  
  
He ended the conversation just minutes later. Nothing was resolved. Nothing was okay. And it didn’t really feel like it would ever be again. It was all just too damn much.  
  
He sat heavily in his desk chair, resting his head in his hands. It would be so easy to end up crushed under the weight of everything he was dealing with now…and to still be so distrusted by so many. But he was the hero son of a hero…he had expectations and responsibilities to live up to, whether he agreed to them or not.  
  
All Jim wanted to do was explore space. Despite being in the middle of everything that was happening now, while they waited for the new ship to be ready, he felt like he’d lost his way from that. And he wondered if he’d ever get that simplicity back.  
  
Straightening, Jim took a couple of deep breaths and did his best to smooth his features. He headed out of the room, ordering the lights off as he went. The rooms were dim, but he knew the way and didn’t have any trouble negotiating the furniture.  
  
Bones was waiting for him, a light by the bed the only illumination in the room.  
  
“Everything ok?” he asked.  
  
Jim shrugged and slid into the bed next to him, moving against him. “Not really.”  
  
Without a word, they moved down in the bed together, and Leonard put his arm around Jim’s shoulders, holding him tightly. He turned his head to press his lips to the top of Jim’s head, inhaling the scent of shampoo he’d used earlier. Jim hummed and let out a little sigh, wrapping his own arm around Leonard’s torso, giving him a squeeze. Leonard held Jim’s arm at the elbow, fingers moving without any thought against the roughened skin there.  
  
They lay in silence for a while, just concentrating on the feel of their bodies pressed so close like that, reveling in it, and in Bones’ case, feeling incomparably grateful for Jim’s continued presence.  
  
Jim was breathing slowly and evenly, swallowing against a lump he could feel rising in his chest, like a bubble. Being held like this…with such care and obvious love…by the person who’d found a way to completely defy simple biology – who’d risked so much – to save him.  
  
And why? For what?  
  
Nothing he did would be enough. Not to deal with enormity of the situations they were facing now.  
  
Sometimes he felt like he couldn’t even breathe under the weight of it all.  
  
And even though he hadn’t said anything, Leonard knew….he could feel it. Opening his eyes, he looked down at the blonde head resting on him.  
  
“Hey,” Bones whispered. “Everything’s gonna be okay.”  
  
Jim swallowed and blinked, tears he didn’t even realize he had escaping.  
  
“How, Bones? How can it ever be okay again? And I don’t think I…I’m not enough to make a difference after everything. I can’t be what everyone wants…what they keep saying they need.”  
  
Leonard listened carefully, feeling the emotion in Jim’s words. He didn’t often let it out like this, but Leonard knew the pressure was always there. How could it not be? And he’d hardly had the time to breathe, never mind process everything. And damn it…of course he felt overwhelmed.  
  
“There’s only two things you have to be, Jim…know what they are?”  
  
Jim took another breath, feeling some of the emotion coursing through him calm. He moved even closer to Bones, taking such comfort from his presence, and put a leg over him. Bones responded by kissing his head. Jim tipped his head up, and Leonard kissed him again…gently, on the lips.  
  
They’d only done this a handful of times, and each time Jim’s toes curled and his whole body thrummed with soft pleasure. Although this part of their relationship was pretty new, it also felt wonderfully inevitable…along with everything that was still to come.  
  
“No,” Jim replied finally. “What do I have to be?”  
  
“First, all you have to be is  _you_. Everything that makes you who you are is what everyone needs, Jim. Nothing else. You’re a natural leader, Jim. Just be you.”  
  
Jim smiled, touched by Bones’ unshakable confidence in him. It meant more than Jim expected it would.  
  
“What’s the other thing I have to be?” he asked.  
  
Bones was quiet for a moment, holding Jim’s gaze as they lay wrapped around each other.  
  
“Mine,” he finally said. “You have to be mine, Jim. Because I’m yours…and I think you’re perfect, just the way you are. So be mine, as much as I’m yours, and whatever it is you need to do, we’ll always do it together. Okay?”  
  
Speechless, Jim searched Bones’ eyes, and saw the sincerity and depth of desire there…for Jim, just the way he was. Bones smiled with his eyes, amused at Jim’s inability to come up with anything to say. He took advantage of the quiet to kiss Jim again, and his eyes closed in bliss.  
  
They separated, and Jim met Bones’ gaze again. He quirked an eyebrow, waiting. And Jim smiled.  
  
"Okay"  



End file.
